What a day it’s been. running around trying to get the family in order, laundry has to be done, food cooked and to top it all the small matter of the boss demanding more than ever from me.

How do I cope? I ask so many times but I do. So many tell me,  “I admire your energy. ” Always with a smile on my face, nothing deters me from my objectives or my  goals.

What the outside world sees and what is happening on the inside are complete opposite poles.

Then it starts. THE LEAK ! What may seem like a normal cough to the outside world is a demon in mine. I do believe that the extra stress in my life at the moment as contributed to THE LEAK. Even tho stress incontinence has no bearing on mental stress, it is all to do with the physical stress placed on the bladder. However since I have had extra pressure, at work and  in my private life THE LEAK has slowly infiltrated into my life.

My biggest fear is not the fact of leaking – that I have learnt to deal with, as millions of us sufferers do, but its the amount I leak. What if I get off my chair and I leave a damp patch? How embarrasing, what do I say? ” sorry about that. Pelvic floor muscles taking a little rest today”.

I have learnt that the physical problem is hard enough, but dealing with the emotional side is even harder. Let’s face it society isn’t a very forgiving breed, and are very judgmental unless you happen to be one of the millions who suffer incontinence.

How can I tell anyone? Will they understand? Increadible as it may seem, married for a dinasour age and I still can’t tell my husband. If I tell him, me at the grand age of 42, prime of my life, wisom in one hand, experience in the other, and yet to admit I! the backbone of the family! wonderwoman (not a name I gave myself) I can’t admit I leak. Getting older, things on my body are starting to head south. If I can’t feel attractive how on earth can he? No, I won’t tell him just yet.

Right now the only people I feel comfortable talking about incontience is you. Why? Because you won’t judge me. You won’t pity me. You won’t shun me. You will simply understand me.

Thank you for listening. It is now your turn to open up and talk about it.  

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To all the ladies who have gone through the pains of labour. The heartache of wondering if your child will succeed in life. For all the hard work you have put into not only bringing up a family but to pass on your wisedom, care and love that forms the ground work for the developement of the future. Children are our future and without mothers like you the would be no future.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY. GO SPOIL YOURSELF. INFACT GET EVERYONE ELSE TO SPOIL YOU.

…Gaynor’s Gang!  by Gaynor Morgan-Lognay

Don’t be an Incontinence Sufferer, be an
‘Incontinence Survivor’

Mum & My Story…

It all started in the year dot spit!
Mum came into this world not realizing that when she left she would make an impact on millions of women’s lives the world over.

How it all began.

Mum gave birth to 3 children. 1 born by caesarean section. The youngest contacted meningitis whilst in hospital which left him disabled. The stress of coping with all this and very little support from her family made the road to survival seem a treacherous journey.
Through the years of an abusive marriage she always remained positive and always had a good word for everyone, even for those who did her wrong. She was an incredible woman who I am proud to call my mother.

Mum’s motto in life was “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Boy, was there a lot of lip biting when I was younger. The cliché I have since passed onto my own child.

The years went by and us children all grown up had found our own way in life. Mum settled in her own home alone.

It was the first time I saw her content within herself; she loved her own company and loved attention when with friends. She was the life and soul of any party. Mum was larger than life and not just in personality!

She found herself a great guy who was 15 years her junior. At the age of 50 years young she related to men her own age as ‘the wrinklies’ and too stayed.
Her man absolutely adored her. Anyone who could treat my mother like a queen got my seal of approval.

For the first time in her life she was free to enjoy life.

A problem shared is a problem solved!

All of a sudden mum had given up on a very active relationship and had cut down going out. She found excuses not to join in any activities that she had been accustomed to.

There was something very wrong that mum wasn’t saying.

One day whilst out shopping she had a panic attack. She looked like a frightened rabbit taking the full beam of the headlamps.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Just take me home. I have to leave now.”

That was the start of the slippery slope, spiraling downwards faster than she could control.
A beautiful, brilliant lively woman reduced to a house mouse.
“No secrets mum, that’s what we said.”
“I’m fine sweetheart.”
Not the answer I was expecting, but I wasn’t going to give up.

A year later after a course of anti depressants, she finally opened up.
She told me she needed an operation.
Oh my god! Cancer? Heart? After all she was a heavy smoker and with both her parents who died before the age of 55 of heart conditions. My mind was racing, I felt as if my own heart had dropped to the pit of my stomach churning the acid.

When mum told me it was stress incontinence. My immediate reaction was to laugh. Not mockingly, it was more of a release of relief that it was nothing more sinister.

I knew nothing of incontinence at the time. Why should I, I did not have it and it is something not spoken about. My idea about incontinence was something that only happened to old people. Or was it???

Mum had an operation called the TVT or Trans Vaginal Tape procedure, things were getting back to “normal”, she was back to her confident self again, but her sex life still remained a memory. She had lost the confidence to enter a sexual relationship.
The anti depressants and psychological effects had had a large part in this.

She started opening up about the whole experience.
She thought she was the only woman this had happened to. She in her own mind had become a freak. She thought that losing urine involuntarily she would smell, so it was easier to remain at home.
What if she lost urine during intercourse? How humiliating. So she got rid of the man. Everything was a compromise to hide the underlying problem. Just like millions of women the world over go through. Simply because they don’t understand their own body and are too afraid to ask for help and advice.
After a year her incontinence had returned.

You are not alone.

The Dr said due to mum being overweight the problem had re-occurred. “Give up smoking and lose weight.” The echoing repetition of the doctor bounced around mum’s head. If only it were that easy. Her condition was once again overlooked and under diagnosed. Mum came away from the doctor in tears, and was so upset by the nonchalant attitude of the Doctor. The very person that should have been there to support her had sent my mother into another spiral of depression.

“Gaynor it’s back… I can’t go through this again.” Her voice was ‘small’. I felt absolutely helpless.

In the one year of her being ‘urine’ free I had done a small amount of research. Knowing what I had found, the feeling then became more, Yes! There is help out there beyond invasive treatment. We will pursue this together!

So the search began to find a product other than pads and surgery that could help because at this point, for mum, nothing seemed to work.

‘Taboo’ Factor called…Incontinence

Amazingly, in our search, we found there were over 4 million women in the UK and 13 million women in the USA who were suffering from this condition called ‘Stress Incontinence’ or ‘SUI’.

That’s a lot of ‘leaky ladies’ who need immediate attention.

The other interesting facts that came out were ‘Stress Incontinence’ is part of the ‘Taboo’ factor. It is one of those problems swept under the carpet. Just like mental health and cancer (about 10 years ago). Unfortunately, the ‘Taboo’ attitude still remains around ‘Stress Incontinence’ and ‘Incontinence’ as a whole…

Perhaps, if we don’t speak about it, it may go away? Well I’m sorry to say, life isn’t that simple and the workings of the human body are even more unforgiving.

Mum and I had nursing experience and we were determined to find a solution. We then started studying urology in depth, to help us understand the why’s and how’s of the system, to help ‘fix’ her silent, self alienating, ‘Taboo’ problem called ‘Incontinence’.

Necessity is the mother of invention.

We came up with a few crazy ideas, we laughed about it until tears streamed down our faces. It was the first time mum seemed to really face the problem and accept that something had to be done, not only for her, but also for others in her situation.

Seeing her laugh was a relief, when she admitted she needed to change her underwear and could still hold her dignity I knew she was on the road to recovery (mentally anyway).

We had the basic thoughts, if you have a leak under your sink you don’t just leave an absorbent cloth to catch the drips you actually fix the problem. Be it a crack in the pipe or a broken seal. Our attitude to the human body was the same and just that simple.

EUREKA!! IncoStress was born!

“No, it’s not possible!” I said. Guess what!… Mum proved me wrong!

Finally after trying many different ideas herself, we finally put both of our heads together and at the dinning room table in mum’s kitchen, designed and created something so simple that actually worked!

After about 12 months mum completely cured herself. One of our neighbours a 36 year old woman heard about mum and admitted she suffered with the same problem. She asked mum to help her as well, and did.

We then started looking into this more seriously, researching various different materials that would be acceptable. We continued on, trying all sorts of materials, etc. with many more laughs and many more disappointments.

Then, we found our material… and EUREKA!! ‘IncoStress’ was born! Designed by Women, for Women… Because it is a Woman’s thing!

Protecting our idea.

With nothing like it on the market, it was an innovative idea and it worked!

We also knew to be serious about helping others like mum, as well as being advised to, we needed to protect our new, improved, IncoStress™ idea.

Not having money to pay a patent lawyer, I drew up our own patent and it was granted.

With heartfelt thanks to help from Wales Innovation Network-UK (WIN), we were then able to take our product into clinical trials.

Knocking on doors trying to get someone to listen seemed the hardest thing in the world. Here I was with a great, innovative product and no idea how to tell the women who needed it most of it’s existence.

Then in the least likely way, found this wacky, fun bunch called reMODEL Consultants International Ltd.- UK & US, who believed in me like no one else had. They then helped me take this forward to realise my and mums dreams of getting the product out there as well as helping raise awareness, reaching those who need it most…you.

Today, we are very excited to say we are now ready to make our IncoStress™ product available to you at www.incostress.com .

Because, IncoStress™ was designed by women, for women, because it’s a woman’s thing! :) We’re now all here for you!

A tribute and promise to mum…a ‘Stress Incontinence Survivor’

Sadly my greatest friend, hero and mum passed away in 2004 of a heart condition. Unfortunately, she will never know of all the women who, through her persistence and dedication to find a solution to her own Incontinence problem will now be able to become ‘Stress Incontinence Survivors’ just like her.

More importantly, they will be able to come out of their silent suffering and self alienation by the simple ‘invention’ created out of genuine heart and soul determination that mum created called IncoStress™.

My Tribute and Promise to Mum and now to You is…
1. I will continue endeavoring to help other ‘Incontinence Sufferers’ and will do all I can to make people aware of the seriousness of the condition beyond being a ‘leaky lady’.
2. I will do all I can to help you too become a ‘Stress Incontinence Survivor’ and ‘Incontinence Survivor’ just like Mum.
3. I will do all I can to help you feel welcome, loved, cared about, understood, and part of a community of others overcoming the same silent suffering and a self alienation world like you have been living in, when you become part of ‘…Gaynor’s Gang!’ …Where we’re all in this together!
4. A Trust created in Mum’s name, Carole Kendall, to be sure to keep her dream alive going forward… “To help other ‘Incontinence Sufferers’ just like you become ‘Incontinence Survivors’ just like her, so you can overcome and live life to the fullest once again.

There is a solution! And you are not alone in this! Thanks to Mum… :)

Stay Positive!

If you are not already an ‘Incontinence Survivor’ you soon will be.
Stay positive!
You are a beautiful woman who deserves the right to a great quality of life.

Always know, in times you are struggling to stay positive… We’re always here for you.

To help you get started, from Mum’s Incontinence days, she created a Daily Bladder Diary. I’ve now updated it in a much simpler, easy to use, downloadable format for you at www.incostress.com as well as other websites listed below.

Simply download it, print it off and start keeping a record for yourself as well as to show and discuss with your personal professional doctor.

There are different levels and types of incontinence. Demand to be tested for the type of incontinence you think you may suffer.

Remember, ‘Stress Incontinence’ is a condition that is certainly overlooked and under diagnosed with huge, silent, psychological impact still in this open, talk about everything world we live in today.

Let’s Talk About It at …Gaynor’s Gang!

Let’s talk about it at …Gaynor’s Gang! I would love to hear from you.

Remember I lived through and experienced it ‘all’, together with mum.
It won’t cure itself and promise you, it will get worse if left untreated.

Please take the simple first step to quietly and privately speak with just one person to start with about this…
www.gaynorsgang.com
www.incontinencesurvivors.com
www.stressincontinencesurvivors.com

If you think you have this condition PLEASE let’s talk about it together at ‘Gaynor’s Gang!’ Genuinely and from the heart, I do understand what you are going through…

I am not a licensed expert in the field and cannot give personal advice. Though will be there to listen, encourage, care, share and genuinely understand.

Also if you have a similar story to tell I would love to hear from you.

Every woman deserves a good quality of life!
Take control of yours today!
You only have ONE life. It’s YOURS to live it to the fullest!

You too can be a ‘Stress Incontinence Survivor’…just like Mum!

With my warmest and heartfelt regards,
Gaynor Morgan – Lognay
Founder & CEO IncoStress™
www.incostress.com

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If you or someone you love and care about may be suffering this silent, self alienating, fixable condition, please contact us.
www.gaynorsgang.com
www.incontinencesurvivors.com
www.stressincontinencesurvivors.com
www.incostress.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you would like to reprint this story, please contact Info@GaynorsGang.com

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For further advice on Patents please go to http://www.patent.gov.uk/

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If you are based in Wales-UK, with a new and innovative product or idea, Wales Innovation Network (WIN) http://www.win4wales.com are there to help you.

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…A personal thank you to Lorrie and James at reMODEL Consultants International Ltd. www.remodel.co.uk for believing in me to take this all forward to reach those who need it most…you.

© 2007 Gaynor Morgan-Logney & Gaynor’s Gang!

Who Am I?

I’m your nurse when you are sick.
I’m a mother to our children.
I’m  grandmother to our grandchildren.
I’m your security when you feel insecure.
I’m your lover in times of passion.
I’m your confidence when you lack self belief.
I’m your Pychologist when you are confused.
I’m your cook when you are hungry.
I’m your housekeeper.
I’m your friend.
I’m your accountant managing the household expenses.
I’m your teacher when you need to know new things.
I’m your soulmate.

I’m all the the above when you need me to be. But you know what you have forgotten?
I AM STILL A WOMAN. Being all of the above and more how easy it is to forget who we really are.

Happy womans day. Go spoil yourself. You have earned it.

Well ladies, 9 years of research into the incontinence world. 9 years of feeling empathy for all those who suffer the condition and here I am one of you. If you have read mum and my story you will discover why it is so important I now write this post.

Preparing for the biggest challenge of my life – getting my new innovation to prevent stress incontinence off the ground, the mental stress levels were through the ceiling. And to put the icing on the cake, I had the worst case of brochitis ever.

As I coughed and spluttered to my horror, I realised I leaked. I was mortified. Me leak? 42 and leaking? My first reaction was to keep quite and it may not come back. After all my years of trying to get people to NOT keep quiet about the condition, here was I doing just that.

I felt my world had started to crumble. Looking in from the outside and helping people was far easier than admitting I was now one of the statistics.

I hate pads! I hate the thought of having to be aware all the time! Does this mean the end of the begining or the begining of the end?

Luckily I have my innovation that I can now say It works for me personally.

It took courage for me to tell people, Yes I leak! This is certainly a prolem over looked and under diagnosed.

There is no shame in having stress incontinence, but it is a shame if you do nothing about it. It will not go away unless you do something about it.

Leaky ladies we need to stand together and help each other. I would love to hear your personal experiences and how you dealt with them.

pelvic floor exercises

Pelvic floor muscle exercises or Kegal exercises (Kegal named after Dr. Arnold Kegal), is an exercise designed to strengthen the muscles that surround the bladder. The exercises consist of regular clenching and unclenching of the muscles which form part of the pelvic floor or kegal muscles.

Every pelvic floor muscle squeeze needs to be done as strong as possible as it is the ONLY way the muscle can be strengthened and your condition can improve.

These exercises can be done without anyone knowing. You could be waiting for a bus, watching TV or even doing the ironing.

Try this:

Sit, stand or lie down with your legs slightly apart and the muscles in your thighs, buttocks and abdomen relaxed.

  • Tighten the ring of muscle around your front and back passages drawing the muscles up inside.
  • In the begining draw the muscles up and hold for 5 seconds and relax. Eventually you should be able to draw up and hold for 10 seconds.
  • Complete this 10 times.
  • Now try to draw the muscles up and and relax quickly.
  • Do this whole exercise routine at least 4-5 times a day.

NOTE:

As with all types of exercise only do what your body will allow you to do. You should not feel any discomfort while doing the exercises. If you do experience any sort of pain whilst carrying out the pelvic floor exercises please consult your doctor.

Note: While doing your exercises:

    • Do not hold your breath
    • Do not push down instead of squeezing and lifting up
    • Do not tighten your stomach, bottom or thigh muscles
    • Do not go overboard on your first attempt, gradually increase your exercises

Welcome to Gaynor’s Gang!

This is where you can read about Stress Incontinence.

When you feel confident , please add your own comments and questions.

Read about this condition at IncoStress.com where you can participate in our survey.

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